Daily Prompt: Person of the Year

Woscaraward2ell it is a cold, dismal and grey afternoon here and it is that time of the day to answer the WordPress Daily Prompt Challenge. And their Daily Prompt today is called Person of the Year and today they ask, You’re asked to nominate someone for TIME’s Person of the Year. Who would it be, and why?

So first of lets go through the nominations.. 

Mother

Oh god no, as much as I love her, I would never hear the end of it.. not until they surgically removed the redial button from her right hand.  My life would never be the same….. just more calls about how perfect the world thinks she is.. and how I should curtsey to her when she enters the room…. plus she would want to bring along the Bingo Lush Ladies.. all dressed up in their pink finery and Bert the Bingo caller… to see her misbehave on a Wednesday afternoon down at the local Bingo Hall is bad enough.. yet alone on National TV… I would have to ask for a whole new identity.

Father

Slight problem there, since the EU got its hands on the milk subsidy and cut-back Britain’s grant, we can’t find him as the local milk delivery depot closed its doors back in the 1970′s and they have the details of his final resting place, as we were told the last time someone saw him he was seen heading upwards on his heavenly float after his ruck with Two-Ton Ted from Teddington… Mind you his milk was too pricey, especially his Gold Top,  and he made so much noise when delivering in the early hours of the morning.. so again he’s a no no. His memorial record was bad enough.. I can recall as a small child my mother playing it morning, noon and night and she wiped those tears from her cheeks.

Sister

Oh god forbid, definitely not.. I would never hear the end of it.  She is another chip off the old block and would think she has just been promoted to the regal position that is now above the Queen.  I can imagine her sitting there on her Avocado Armitage Shanks throne shouting orders at the top of her voice.. Mind you she does take after her father in that respect.. nobody could shout “Rag and Bone” like he did, but he didn’t stay that long.. not once Two-Ton Ted came out of hospital.  Anyway how could George Clooney announce the award this year goes to Dockyard Doris of the Advocado World.

Brother

Another no-no, that lazy sod would only be able to collect his award once he had levelled up on his new X-Box game.  Plus the fact, his slovenly appearance is something we can recognise a mile off… put him in a suit, cut extra wide on the right so he can carry his PSP, and we wouldn’t be able to recognise him.. Plus I don’t think there is a a medical procedure yet to de-root him from his gaming chair without leaving visible scars.

Husband

Forget that one.. never would hear the end of it.. it really is a toss up who would self-promote themselves the most, mother, sister or hubby.. plus due to the economic climate, can’t afford to have double doors fitted to get his head through.

Kids

From the siblings I had to put up with.. decided against kids.. mind you the doggies could be a contender for the award.. the only problem there is that are likely to squat on the floor, leave a wet mess if they are have had to sit still for too long and would probably chew the award into bits before the show ends..

So that only leaves one person left..

ME

Problem solved.. I nominate myself.. and reason why.. simple really, for having to put up with that dysfunctional lot above :D

P.S. This is satire.. I don’t have a brother nor a sister and I love my mum to bits and my dad wasn’t a milkman… he was married to my mum and was a lorry-driver. :D

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13 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Person of the Year

    • I know, but I will have decline the award if George Clooney is not presenting it… At a push I would agree to old Brucie..and not the strictly guy (would run a mile then), but the shoot em up attitude guy whose mother must use Persil for those vests he wears. :D

      Like this

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