Now I don’t know about you, but when the winning bid was announced on the 6th July 2005, I jumped for joy.. my god Britain has won something.. how amazing. Normally our bids are thrown away and scoffed at, but we managed it at long last… Bravo Britain.
Little did I, like many others, realise the bloody nightmare these games are. Well the worst part is not the games themselves, but the Olympic Lane closures… You know those dignitaries and athletes have to have a smooth ride, don’t they?
That is providing they are not lost for 4 hours on some road, without a SatNav.
So let’s dig up the speed humps and flatten the road – you know the humps that send shock-waves through the bodies of every driver and their passengers as the vehicle they are travelling in has to negotiate them – and let us give these nice people their very own hump-free lane.
Don’t worry about congestion, London of Transport will still charge you full whack for only using a part of the road and £135 if you wander into the Olympic Lane.
Don’t worry about the livelihoods of all those that rely on the roads and deliveries from stockists, FGS we can’t have Golden Wonder in the Olympic Lane can we?
And as for those dignitaries travelling in their own private lane, well it will be a smooth ride providing they are not having to dodge the pedestrians who have had to resort to standing in the Olympic Lane to get a taxi.
If it’s not bad enough at the best of times trying to cross the road and deal with irate drivers full of road rage, you are now, as a pedestrian going to have to try and negotiate the TFL’s new Olympic Event of getting in and around London and avoiding the Games.
Of course those who are privileged to travel in the Olympic Lane could now find themselves ground a halt (and not getting their smooth ride) because some poor pedestrian is now desperately trying (from the Olympic Lane) to hail a cab which is now stuck in traffic because some cyclist has decided to sort out his lycra shorts because they are cutting his manhood into four; or answering his mobile and arranging their rendezvous at some wine-bar or gym with their bessie friend.
Yep, as usual some cyclist will stop, right in the middle of the road chatting on his iPhone, whilst straddled on their Boris bike totally oblivious, to the fact, that they are creating one massive traffic snarl up, even though the sounding of horns and blasphemous words coming from the held-up drivers is getting louder.
So if you want to catch a taxi in London, well first you will have to cross the Olympic Lane before you can get into one. Bloody hell for those with disabilities and who are wheelchair bound and for those of us who can’t run and dodge moving traffic, due to age, dodgy hips and knees (that would have been mended if we didn’t have cutbacks in NHS), you really are going to have to take your life into your own hands to even hail a cab, yet alone ride in one. Mind you crossing the road will be easier because everything, apart from the Olympic Lane, won’t be moving. And that won’t be moving if too many people stand in the Lane hailing taxis.
God knows how many injuries there will be and how much road rage will occur and not forgetting that due to the increased chaos in traffic and congestion created by the Olympic Lanes, if by bad luck you need an ambulance, don’t bank on it getting to you in a hurry. Carry some medial necessities in your handbag and hope the guy waiting for the other taxi is trained in First Aid or a member of St. John’s Ambulance.
Some common sense please, a lot of people will be wanting taxis to get to the games.
And because the black cabs are now confined to the measly lanes left to all the other drivers, including bus drivers, it looks like there is going to be many who can’t even get a cab.
But hold on, don’t despair there is an alternative so you don’t have fight the traffic to get a cab.. Just get the tube to Park Lane and then the Taxi drivers in their black cabs will be able to pick you up from the kerbside, like they do normally.
You see, in that nice area, the Black Cabbies are allowed to use the Olympic Lanes..[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WqHyxwJwyo]
One rule for the rich and one for the poor. And please show some common sense and allow the Black Cabbies the use of the Olympic Lane.. you will find traffic will move freer.
If all else fails, just hibernate until August when the games are over, and things can return to normal..