Day 5

TeardropsMonday 18th March 2013

What a day… I was glad last night to get into bed and put the whole day behind me.  Whether the steroids are now kicking in and the side effects are starting to manifest, I don’t know.. but all day I felt as down as any person could be.

The aches and pains had subsided a little during the day, which was a godsend but I just felt so tearful.. and to be honest, totally depressed.

One thing I hate totally about this whole PMR thing, is that you can’t remain focussed… what you are trying to say is not coming out how it was meant to, your mind goes blank and little things, that you would normally brush off, now seem such a big deal.  And the likes of Twitter doesn’t help when you only have 140 characters to say exactly what you mean and you can’t think straight.

I have made some foolish mistakes in my life.. mistakes that did not just have an impact on me, but affected others too.  But there again I don’t suppose I am the only person to have made mistakes in their life.  The mistakes that I have made, I will regret, until the day I die; and yet no matter how many times I apologise for the error in my ways and say how much I regret things, some people just won’t let it be…

And when you don’t feel well, and you are already in an emotional state, these things don’t help you to feel any better.. believe me.

You see that is the trouble with the internet at times, people don’t know what is going on in someone’s life and they could say things that could have a greater impact on a person who is not at their best, both physically and mentally.  And that impact could be greater than they could ever imagine.  No I don’t blame the other person at all yesterday, they didn’t know how I was feeling, especially if they hadn’t read this blog.

But perhaps it is a lesson we could all learn, think before posting, on social media, blogs and forums… you never know if someone is having to come to terms with an illness, or feeling like a total wreck because of the medication they take… or they are totally fed up with being overweight because of the likes of steroid treatment.

Sometimes, we just need someone, to lean on.. and a few kind words from a friend or stranger can go hell of a long way in lifting your spirits.



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