Another day another prompt from WordPress… Today the challenge is: People are afraid of all kinds of things: spiders, the dark, or being enclosed in small spaces. Tell us about your greatest fear — rational or irrational.
Simples, insects, bugs, spiders, frogs and Geckos.. I hate any type of insect.. whether it be a money spider or a moth on steroids. Whatever it is I will run for the hills and scream blue murder if it gets near me.
As for those large spiders that run across the floor quicker than Linford Christie.. that is it.. I can’t be in the house with them.. yet alone the same room. I dread the thought of one of them turning up when no-one is at home to catch them.
But over the years I have found the perfect catcher.. Tesco Extra Hold Hairspray and a hoover. Lacquer the buggers until they can’t run no more and then hoover them up. Yes I know, ‘If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive.’ Well my answer to that is simple live and thrive in someone else’s home… not MINE.
My other half has a Koi pond in the garden and honestly if I see a frog that is it.. bugger catching the rays of sunshine.. in I go with the back door closed and locked (as if they are able to let themselves in) until it is removed from the garden.
I had one near miss with a frog many years ago whilst living with my mum…. You see I got up to go to work and as we had a coal fire, and it was a frosty winter’s morn, I decided to be the dutiful daughter and light the fire for her.
So out I went into the cold morning air to get a bucket of coal.. Scrunched up the paper and the sticks and firelighters were in full blaze and as I was about to chuck the coal on this black sooty frog hopped out of the coal scuttle .. my god that was it… work clothes on …. out the door to work, faster than grease lightening and a note left rather hastily saying.. frog in lounge.. sorry no fire. That was it .. I was gone.. leaving the frog to run amok.
My poor mother had to find this frog and get the neighbour to carry it out..
My son has two of them.. one female and one male.. of course we had babies until he separated them.. but honest to god.. I won’t put things away in his chest of drawers unless they are at the back of the tanks..
About a year ago.. the dogs must have got upstairs and frightened one of these Geckos because it lost its tail… son decided to bring this tail down that was still wriggling.. I early had a heart attack.. It totally made me feel sick.
And of course when these two little Geckos arrived.. son decided to buy crickets to feed these Geckos on.. and as per usual he opened the packets and half of the crickets lept out and escaped.. for months we would find crickets.. in the bathroom.. on the stairs, hopping across the lounge floor… that was it I would be screaming once again and calling for whoever was in to get this tiny little cricket. And again they suffered the hair lacquer – never failed to work – treatment.
So to all the insects, bugs frogs and spiders… don’t come near me and you won’t suffer.. it’s best if go and live with someone else, you are liable to have a longer lifespan.. and it will be a lot healthier for you.. that I can assure you of.
As for the Geckos.. you stay in that room and if you hear me coming get to the back of the tank.. out of sight.. please.. pretty please 😀 OK I beg you.. 😀
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